More disinfectant!
The move into my new apartment has been slow because I don’t have much furniture, except a bed. I’m still not fully in.
Sunday, my grandma took me shopping.
First we went to Crate & Barrel. She got me the Klyne chair-and-a-half and ottoman-and-a-half (in the color “dolphin” (gray), to be delivered next month), plus some throw pillows, a can opener, and a floor lamp.
We dropped off the lamp, pillows, and can opener at my place. She had also brought towels, extra utensils, a new coffeemaker and toaster, liquid soap, and kettlecorn for me, too. You know, the essentials.
Back in the car, heading south.
She told me that “Kate” (I’m supposed to know that’s Middleton) likes Jimmy Choo, but most of the styles are kind of strange-looking. She’s excited that “brown” is in for Fall. She doesn’t like Kim Kardashian’s hair when it’s pulled back, and she is done with The Bachelor—she says the people must only be doing the show for publicity because they never get married. HA! Kinda true.
THEN (my idea), we went to a place called IKEA.
My first trip there was the night before with my friends Cheryl and John. They were looking at something there, and I accompanied. But I’d never seen the warehousey part What a sight!
She had to comment on how many people were there.
She had to ask—very seriously—regarding a bookcase, “What holds it together, glue?”
We had to get these carts. We were each pushing one, and she said (again) very seriously, “Sometimes it’s better to pay for service.”
There was an IKEA guy talking us through the delivery process, since we got held up at the idea of lifting a box onto the cart (aisle 6, bin 13). He said we’d still have to stand in line at checkout.
She told him she thought the service at IKEA was terrible. He said, “Those darn Swedish!” She said, also trying to be light, “Yes, why are you like that?” Me: “No, he’s not Swedish!”
Poor guy!
Then, as we’re driving out:
Grandma: “I’ll have Uncle Boyd [her handy son-in-law] assemble everything on Monday.”
Me: “What if he doesn’t want to put together my furniture?”
Grandma: “Then he can do it on Tuesday!”
Oh, man! My poor family! I’ve been loving having the help of family, but I bet they’re so happy I stayed away for so long!!!
Oh I loved this post! Your grandma sounds hilarious. She probably made that IKEA guy’s day, truthfully!
That’s too funny. I’ve always loved your posts over at Glamour about your awesome diva-licious Grandma. :-)
If only she knew what holds IKEA furniture together is even less than glue! Can’t beat those prices, though. And I have to agree with her about the service. I went there once with my mother and a young guy very nicely escorted us to our car but told us he wasn’t allowed to put any of the boxes in for legal reasons (like if he dinged our car). So he just sort of watched as my mom and I lifted up these huge boxes.
Your grandma cracks me up. I think she’s more up on pop culture than I am.
Your chair and a half costs more than my entire couch! And I would have paid good money to see Omi in the Ikea ball pit eating some meatballs :)
Humorous! Wonderful!
Nice post!
Trina, my grandma regularly reads People, Us Weekly, The National Enquirer, The Royals, Star…you wouldn’t believe how much! So funny! @Brooke, I know–crazy!
Let me know when you are in your apartment for real with a bed. I will come down for a girl’s weekend away!
I LOVE the posts about grandma!! She RULES!!