Times, they are a-desperate. I just interviewed for a job at a “marketing” firm, but there was something fishy about it. They were trying to hire lots of people, and their web site didn’t mention any specific clients by name, or talk about projects or give case studies. It mostly talked about recruiting people to start their new careers! I found them on Monster. They called me 50 times and told me to bring my resume (duh) and dress professionally (really?). Plus, the web site had typos.
The guy I met with came to get me before I had completed my preliminary questionnaire, which basically asked me to copy down the resume they’d asked me to bring. He led me down a long hallway, with nothing on the walls. His office was just as bare. He did not have business cards or even an email address.
He kept talking about the “customer” (I was thinking, client? store owner?). He said his company was all about face-to-face interaction. No computers, no phones. Finally, I realize the customer is anyone on the street who wants to buy the discounted product I would be “marketing.” He wanted me to stand on a street corner and sell stuff. But he couldn’t bring himself to use the word “sales.” Like he could trick me into hocking stuff and I wouldn’t guess what my job was.
I thought, I could blog about this product in my pajamas and reach 10,000 people. Why should I put on street clothes and bug 200 people—about a product, no less, that I would never buy myself? It was a discounted cosmetics kit, but I don’t buy makeup on the street. I would rather try to sell one $300 bag all day, than a bunch of discounted makeup thingies. I mean, ew. Who buys makeup like that? I don’t really like many things that are mass—mass fiction, mass fashion, mass food. Okay, I like McDonald’s, I’ll read John Grisham once in a while, and I’ll shop at H&M, but I would never buy a random color of blush from an old guy on the sidewalk. Plus, I spent 7 years in New York City—I hate when people talk to me on the street.
And the interviewer looked at my chest twice. Shower time!